I am from the mitten state {Michigan} and traveled all the way to l.a. in apRil of 2008 to start a new life, but I didn't know it at the time. the "new" life part.
After living in Detroit for 3 years I made a lateral transfer to my local los angeles TRadEr JoE's and continued my position as a supervisor/manager--->this was my life for 4.5 years--->alarm goes off:2am-work 10 hours 5 days a week-come home-tired-eat-sleep 4 hours-stressed-darkcircleeyed-where did becky go?
i am now 29. my creative spirit, that i didn't know was hiding within, started to spin me and my thoughts: I was suddenly mesmerized by paint-color swatches at Home Depot and beads and buttons and color wheels and aprons and fabric and forgotten furniture. Suddenly, I was drawn to all of these "newish" things. For the past 4.5 years I had been thinking in terms of "discontinued" and "temporarily out-of-stock" and hypnotized by Hawaiian print shirts! What the hell was happening to me?
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Flash forward to the summer of 2009. Many things good and not-so-good happened this summer. I'll spare you the details and just say that these things were instrumental in my awakening or my come to jesus moment! I had discovered, and most importantly, admitted to being lost.lonely.defeated. and BORED as all get out!
So now what? I've had a really cush life. ANd I mean really cush! I'm truly not trying to boast here, but I'm just simply trying to illustrate how hard it was to fathom not being able to live this cushy cush life anymore. Not to mention the thought of starting over professionally.
The answer was simple. I had to get back to basics (there you go-another trader joe's phrase. I can't help it). But it's true. I had to redefine what was important to me. But how was I to do that when I hadn't really been alert and present-so to speak- in years? I was soon overcome with overwhelmation??! As a dear friend once said, "Things have been set in motion and now you just have to wait, this change is inevitable."
I began to peel the layers and dig dig dig til' I was blue and green and purple in the face. It was painful and frustrating and hopeless and joyous and enlightening and and and...
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I just realized this entry is not so lickety split. o well folks.
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After much thought (and I'm talking soooo much thought I thought (again) that my head was going to spin off -then I would totally be ephed) and counsel, I decided to "step-down", as we in the tj's world call it, from management and resume a position as a good 'ol crewmember. The t-shirt wearin' kind! Flash forward to November 27 of 2009. My 29th birthday. I inform my captain of my plans. This would take effect on Feb. 1st 2010.
A monumental moment in my life!
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I did it. The weight has been lifted. The heavy:golden handcuffs have been cut. I was free.
ANd now the real work begins. I am still not the person I want and know I can be, but in the months leading up to my decision I was steadfast and committed to redefining and revisiting what I wanted for myself:the kind of life I knew I could have:who i wanted to be:the person that had been repressed and boxed up for so long.
Flash forward right to this very {letter}. This entire process has been...tumultuous, I guess. A 1/4 life crisis.
I mean, how was I to know this is what los angeles, california had in store for me?
I marvel in it's plan. I revel in the discovery.
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Remember when I said I was mesmerized by paint-color swatches and buttons and beads? Well, I still am.
I am currently designing jewelry for my Etsy shop and other boutiques in my hood. And as for the paint swatches...I have decided to further my education @ UCLA extension and enrolled in their Architecture and Interior Design Program (emphasis on "green" design). I start in mArch.
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{this blog entry is dedicated to my family and close friends & my amazing boyfriend, Drew. All of which epitomize the defintion of unconditional love & support.
For you, I am grateful.}
